Storm Before Calm

For some reason before going away on vacation, I always bombard myself with an unreasonable amount of things to do. For the past week I have run around like a crazy woman gathering, shopping, cleaning, putting up window screens, setting up the new pool, organzing, unpacking, schlepping kids around, and oh yes, working almost twice my normal hours at the Birthplace.

I love my job but I won't be sorry for the week away. It has been downright crazy for the past couple of weeks at work (Hurricaine Irene anyone?) and now the labor and delivery nurses are paying the price. The beauty of my job is that I work with one of the most outstanding teams around, so a busy time usually just means more solidarity to get through it. The only downside is that it's summer, and most of us want to be by the pool with a margarita and not in our scrubs.

So I am finishing up another long night shift here and heading out to Pennsylvania today after a couple of hours of sleep. Francisco is staying home to hold down the fort, as we learned a long time ago that we really do like to vacation separately most of the time. Or rather, I like to go places and he likes to stay home. So I will load up the kids for the six hour drive to our glorious rental house on a lake, and join my aunts, grandparents, and cousins for some old school reunioning. I feel like I have run a marathon to get here. I'm pretty sure I do this to myself so that once I am sitting on the porch with a cocktail and my feet up, I will really appreciate it.

We're in... Now what???

So now that we're in our new house I have to wonder, what comes next? There are still so many things we need to buy and do to make our home the way we want it, prepare for winter weather changes, and accomodate our lifestyle, it's hard to know where to start. What do people do? Do you buy the generator or the shed? The gutters or the snowblower? The wood stove or the hot tub? We don't actually have money for any of these things, but the question really is how do people know what comes first?

It's all a bit overwhelming, and I'm sure that will calm down once we are settled in, but I can't help feeling a little bit like a kid dressing up in my mom's clothes. This feels like a big responsibility and I'm faking it until I make it. Advice welcome from all the adults out there, right now I'm just a five year old in shoulder pads and ivory pumps.

Creating Our Nest: Before and After Goodies

Ta Daaaaa!!! We're in, and it's amazing! I never thought I could be in love with a house, but yep, I am. Feels like we have always been meant to live here, we are really loving it. So many people have been requesting the before and after photos of what we've done so far, so let's see if this works...

Attic bedroom before:

Nathan's attic bedroom after:

Sofie's bedroom before: 

And after:

Our bedroom before: (note hideous hot salmon color)

And our bedroom after: 

 Laundry room before (don't have a picture of the laundry room after yet, but the breakfast bar is right next to it and is now the same color, so you get the idea):

Breakfast bar after: 

Half bathroom before: 

 
And after:

Kitchen before:

And kitchen after: 

 Full bathroom before:

 And after:

Living room before (dark!):

Living room after:

Colorful Appreciation

We are up to our eyeballs in paint! We closed on our new house on Wednesday and have been working ever since to make the place beautiful. I must say, it's looking pretty freaking good (before and after pics will be taken after completion). Our living room is a beautiful spring green, the kitchen a sunny yellow, soft blue bathrooms, and the mudroom a bright refreshing orange. Anyone who knows me and Francisco knows that we are anything but beige. I had originally planned a bunch of neutral earthtones, but I couldn't go through with it. I need color to brighten up our lives, so much of my mood is affected by my surroundings, why not make our new home cheerful?

We are not done yet, but I am flabbergasted by our progress. For this I have to thank my lovely, generous friends. Several gracious souls have shown up on our doorstep and been happily put to work, dancing to the beat and rolling out the colors. Francisco and I have both been overwhelmed by the generosity of everyone, and I can't tell you how much I appreciate it. It really is amazing how fast things get done when there are many hands working together. I think we'll be moving in sooner than we thought! Can't wait to have our first BBQ to show our appreciation for all the love flowing our way...

Moving is Hard!

It's official: I hate moving. Well, maybe I don't hate moving, but I do hate packing. Sorting through seven plus years of our crap, dividing up what is mine and what is my dad's, figuring out how much we will have to buy after separating our joint household. All of it is a complete pain in the ass. I guess this is not some big news flash.

Our days are currently spent surrounded by mountains of cardboard and plastic trash bags. No one can find any socks because I've either packed them or sent them off to the Salvation Army. Sorry for you, blisters for all until June 10th! That's what you all get for not helping me pack. Not that I want help, I tend to revert to complete control freakness when it comes to arranging our stuff in boxes. I need to be the one to decide what stays and what goes. I need to be the one to throw it all haphazardly into a box, sans bubble wrap, and hope for the best. It will be my fault, and mine alone, when we arrive at our new house with only broken dishes and smashed up lamps. Oops!

Mothers' Day

Happy Mothers' Day everyone! Somewhat belated, but heartfelt nonetheless. Looking at my beautiful daughter this morning I am inspired to write about the special gift of motherhood.

Last night I made dinner after waking from working for the past three nights. I served dinner to my children and then washed all the dishes. I felt a little resentful of the lack of enthusiasm exuding from my family for what is supposed to be "my day", although I did receive some beautiful flowers that were a helpful focus tool when feeling that twinge of irritation. I bought myself a bottle of good champagne and watched the (guilty pleasure alert!) Desperate Housewives finale with my dad and Mary. That in itself is the makings of a good day as far as I'm concerned.

What I realize today in the clear morning light is that mothers never really get a day, but I get every day. Despite the mundane tasks, tantrums, exhaustion, and ass-wiping that come with the territory, I am blessed to have these two miracles in my life. I love being woken up at the crack of dawn with Sofie holding my iPod telling me to "raise the roof Mama, Billie Jean is on!" I love watching Nathan run down the street with his pack of kids and their squirt guns, soaked to the gills and blissfully smiling. I will miss the mundane terribly when they are older and have no time for me, I have no doubt about that.

And to my own mother this Mothers' Day:

You made me who I am today and for every minute that you trudged through life to give us what we had I am grateful. There is nothing in the world that compares to my memories of snuggling in your bed with you and twirling your hair to fall asleep. I have never felt so safe as when you would hold me, I always knew that home was wherever you were. I love you, I respect you, I appreciate you, and I thank you. Happy Mothers' Day Mom.

Can't Wake Up

I don't know what is going on with me lately but I can't wake up. I am perpetually tired and hard as I try I cannot get back the energy that I usually have. And it's bringing me down, especially in the mid afternoon as I struggle to keep my eyes open through any task or setting. I may have to invest in some tiny toothpicks to help me, Wile E. Coyote style.

I believe the problem is that I have been super sedentary and have not exercised in what feels like decades, along with eating a crappy diet fueled predominately by caffeine and carbs. But there is also the issue of forcing myself to stay awake all night 2-3 nights a week to earn a living.

Not to mention that when I am able to go to bed at a reasonable hour I can't fall asleep for the swirling thoughts of a family in the midst of a huge life change.

Or the children that appear in my bed in the middle of the night thrashing around in search of comfort.

Or the barking dog in my living room at 2am.

Fuck. I need a nap.